Awkwardness in human form. 19, Female, French-speaking Canadian/Quebecer with an obsession for the English language, vegetarian, caffeine addict, writer without a cause, unapologetic fangirl.
You fill in the blanks.

December 2009
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Theme by boo, based on the Opal LJ layout.

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vanilladream [userpic]

So I just made a new account on DW. Which is a little pointless and a lot ridiculous.
Why? Because back when I made this one, I didn't think of the now unavoidable fact that I own one alias that crosses all platforms.
I'm the Queen of Nonsense.
Whether it's on MSN, Twitter (which I only use for stalking purposes), any email provider I've ever used (except for my MSN address, go figure), Skype or even the PSNetwork, I use some variant of QueenOfNonsense.
And I didn't think of using it here. What the Heck.

So here I am, looking for a purpose for [personal profile] queenofnonsense . Maybe I'll turn her (yeah, it's a she) into a notebook account.
If anyone passes here by random browsing, I wouldn't mind some help! :D

Much love (yep, to the random passersby),
Queen of Nonsense

PS: Merry late Christmas, and happy New Year! =)

Mood weirdLocation on my couch, laptop right where it belongs - on my lap.
Mood weird
Music Let it Be -- The Beatles
Tags: i'm such a nut, ohhhh shiny!
vanilladream [userpic]

I'm currently isolated for health risks.
In other words, there's a chance the influenza I caught is a case of A H1N1, and they don't want to take the any risks. Huh, sure, if you say so. I'm perfectly fine; it was mostly gone by the time my mom dragged me to the doctor's office, and all they had to say was "Well, we can't give you anything and we won't run tests because it's been too long, but you seem well enough so we'll just quarantine you until Sunday."

Sure, ruin my Halloween, no problem. It might not even be anything bad and that whole H1N1 thing is way overhyped for the benefit of the pharmaceutical industry (and the medias -- then again, is there anything that isn't overhyped for their benefit?), but keep me away from school (when I have exams coming up), from going grocery shopping (meanwhile, I have nothing left in the fridge and all I can eat until Sunday is brown rice with a side of nothing), from even going downstairs to get the mail.

Were I dying from a fever, I'd understand. Were I coughing my lungs out, I'd even agree with them.
But it's over and, aside from the leftover side effects of asthma which I've always had, I'm fine.
And while I'm isolated from the world, someone has a real case of A H1N1 influenza that goes untreated and is dying of it, I'm sure.
Damned over-zealous doctors.

Mood sick, but not that muchLocation on my bed
Mood sick, but not that much
Tags: i'm such a nut, short rants
vanilladream [userpic]

Adopt one today! . Adopt one today!

Yep, those are little dragon eggs. Yep, it's more of an experiment on pageviews than anything else.
And I love it.

Mood amusedLocation Sitting on my bed
Mood amused
Music When it rains ~ Mika
Tags: i'm such a nut, randomness
vanilladream [userpic]

Huhuh. This entry is just one more proof of the title all by itself.
Irony, how I love thee.

I have... *checks* 93 pages of a Shakespeare play to read by tomorrow morning. And then I have 26 pages of Oreste (whatever he's called in English) and Elektra for another class. Which I was supposed to read yesterday, but didn't have the time to.
Why? Because I have no sense of priorities, that's why!
So instead of reading and gearing up for my exam, I was preparing for NaNoWriMo. Which is in a month. And sure, having just found a good idea for a novel is sweet, but then so is actually passing a course in a college program I had to sell my soul to get in!
... I'm only barely kidding.
And now I'm posting about my lack of priorities. Which is useless, stupid, and hopelessly demonstrating of how great I am at procrastination.

So says the girl who calls herself a literary nerd and a bookworm. Can't even get through a few acts of Shakespeare without having her attention taken by something else.
That isn't even shiny. Doesn't have watch parts or clock handles on it either. At least that'd have been understandable.

I'm stressed for that exam. And I'm not doing anything about it, except for making it worse.
What in all Nine Levels of Hell is wrong with me?

Mood driven insane(r) with stressLocation In front of the window
Mood driven insane(r) with stress
Music Stuck In The Middle ~ Mika
Tags: i'm such a nut, school makes no sense, short rants
vanilladream [userpic]

So, I've got three bucks on my Paypal account that are sleeping there, waiting to help out on my next purchase, but I don't plan on buying anything anytime soon.
... Except maybe that sickeningly pretty pocket watch on eBay with which I've had an obsession since last June. But considering I won't have 50$ to shell out on a watch 'till November (and even then, I'll be saving for G-Anime in February), I was thinking of trying a month of Paid Account over here. I mean, it's 3$, exactly what I've got on Paypal. And I don't plan on doing anything else with it.
And it's not completely useless, is it? I'm always on Dreamwidth, writing, deleting, re-writing, and reading a lot (I love comms. Sorry I'm such a lurker.), making icons, posting them for myself only until I've got enough and they're pretty enough to show the rest of the world, etc.

Only, I'm not sure. That watch sure is pretty. And maybe if I transferred money over progressively, I'd buy it sooner than I thought? And maybe, just maybe, I might find something I'll like more than a month's worth of a paid account. For 3$, I doubt it, but who knows? With my luck, a deal will come by just three seconds after I'm done.
And then there's the guilt. Because being a jobless student, I don't have much money on my hands. I have to pay the rent, the bills, the Cégep registration fees, the textbooks — oh and let's not forget I have to feed myself, too. Those three dollars, why spend them on the web, on something I don't need?

Ugh. I hate being financially aware and responsible. Why the Hell is everyone around me so carefree with their money when I can't spend three little dollars freely?
I'm a lost cause.

Mood confusedLocation Kitchen counter, home.
Mood confused
Music Les Respectables — L'Argent fait le Bonheur
Tags: i'm such a nut, ohhhh shiny!, short rants
vanilladream [userpic]

Three weeks ago, on the first week-end of August, I was at Otakuthon in Montreal. That's yet another one of those anime conventions, in short. Being a first-timer, I was just a little overwhelmed by the cosplays and the panels and the free hugs and the Caramelldansen procession (oO), but mostly the panels.
One of them, to which I didn't assist (because I was busy trying to get a pair of earrings discounted), was about the realism of yaoi. Now, I'm not a yaoi fangirl. I like it, but I'm not one to squeal to high Heavens just because two guys happened to finally admit their undying love, just like I won't squeal to high Heavens if it's an heterosexual couple, or a lesbian couple. I'm just not that much of a... squealer. Or hopeless romantic. So, I happened to miss the panel and not worry about it, but my friends went and told me about it and I regretted letting my non-yaoism (and frugality) take precedence on my obsession of realism (although I'm still happy with my 2$ earrings and the ginormous bubble tea I drank on my way back to the Palais des Congrès). And what they told me about it made up my mind about yaoi: I'll keep to shonen-ai, it's easier to get right.
And so my mind started drifting.

1. Stop looking for realism in yaoi. There is none.
2. Really, stop looking for realism in anything anime, manga, or just plain japanese. There is rarely ever, slash none.
3. And while we're at it, those yaoi- and/or yuri- and/or plain hentai-watching fanfiction writers often lose their sense of realism. Therefore, see above.

Now, I know that's not always the case. There are some pretty good, sometimes excellent, sometimes mind-blowing adult-fanfiction writers out there. Just like there are some pretty good, excellent, mind-blowing erotica writers out there. (Seriously, people, stop bashing fanfic. It's a playground, a pretty nifty source of free reading, and just because it's amateur doesn't mean everyone writes horrendously as I do.)
But most of the time, just as most of the fanfic on FF.Net is written by 'tween girls, it's bad. As a disclaimer, I would like to say that I'm not any better (though at least I didn't write 'adult' fic when I was 13) and that there's a pretty good reason I don't write R- or NC-17-rated fic.
I know it's entertainment. I know it may have your favorite characters in it, in the case of a doujinshi. I know it may be full of sexy bishounen (or girls, depending on if we're talking about yaoi, yuri, hentai). But it's not inspiration for fanfic, and most of all it's not research material. Why oh why do they think it is?!

... Anyway, rant over. Going back to my capuccino, wishing it were bubble tea.

Mood thoughtfulLocation Mom's living room, my ex-couch.
Mood thoughtful
Music The Glory Days -- The Incredibles OST
Tags: denial of my fangirling ways #2932, randomness, short rants
vanilladream [userpic]

For archiving purposes and because the emptiness of my journal is getting to me, reposting from [community profile] ffvii_100.

Title: Kick-Ass Weapons
Characters/Pairings: Tifa, Yuffie. No pairings.
Rating: Huh... PG, maybe? I don't know. Some language, I guess.
Word Count: 100

Maybe it wasn't the exact truth, but it shut her up. )


Title: Those Gigantic Swords
Characters/Pairings: Tifa. Mentions of Sephiroth, Cloud and Master Zangan. No pairings.
Rating: PG
Word Count: 100
Author's Notes: Follows up on the other one. As for Tifa, I think she's a little too affected by those swords. Can't say I blame her, though.

Maybe you'd prefer anothing technique? )


Title: Betrayal After Betrayal
Characters/Pairings: Sephiroth, Jenova. No pairings (thankfully!)
Rating: PG for almost-death and evil plans.
Wordcount: 100
Notes: Sephy is just as much of a backstabbing bastard as Jenova, he just didn't manage to get his way. Also, I think it can take place at any of Sephiroth's 'deaths', considering he keeps coming back, but as I wrote it I was thinking of when he got thrown into the Nibelheim mako reactor.

This travesty of a life he'd tasted just enough before )

Title: Killed In Action
Characters/Pairings: Cissnei, mentions of Zack. No pairings.
Rating: PG for character death (kind of obvious) and implied suicidal thoughts.
Wordcount: 100
Series: Crisis Core
Perhaps death would help her... )

Title: Obsessions Pay Quite Well
Characters/Pairings: Cissnei, Reno. A side of shippy Cissnei/unmentionned.
Rating: PG for stalker!Cissnei, blackmail, and Reno. Mental images of what might be on the photos are unrated. =P
Word Count: 100
Series: Crisis Core.
Photos. Everywhere. Drawers, walls, boxes under her bed. )

Mood pack rat
Music Yuukyou Seishunka — Ali Project // Code Geass Ending #1
Tags: fandom: ffvii, fanfiction: drabbles
vanilladream [userpic]

Dreamwidth is great for fandom-related things. It can't beat LJ in sheer number of content, but there's an underlying sense of... Oh, whatever, it just works. And so, aspiring writer that I am, I started writing fics again.
After... five years.
I went from the average thirteen-years old fanfic writer, all hopeful and sort of innocent (but not really, because no thirteen year old invested in fandom can be innocent, of all things) with not-quite-horrible grammar (for a thirteen-years old) and, worst of all, bearing Mary Sues, to an eighteen-years old delusioned fiction-addict who believes she should have stopped caring about fandom a long, long time ago and started worrying about things such as — oh gee I don't know — real life.
Scary progression, but at least I don't write Mary Sues anymore.
Oh, and I switched languages.

My first language, and basically the only one I can speak to an acceptable level, is French. I love it, I apparently have an excellent grasp of every tiny detail that makes it nice when written, and if I ever manage to write something original that's worth anything, it'll be in French. Internet, however, is extremely English-based, and fandom is so scarcely represented on the French side of the language barrier that there's no choice but to jump over to the other side.
There may be a few exceptions to this. One fandom that is vast enough in French, but it's enormous worldwide so that's not too surprising, is Harry Potter. But even then, when compared to the English fandom, there's just not the same diversity to what's found in either fanfic, fanarts, or just people to talk to about crazy theories.

Problem is, English is quite different from French. Some may say it's simpler, and while I may agree, there are many little things that either come from writing a literate French or from reading a little too much mainstream material that make my written English awkward. And though I do find it much simpler to write fanfictions in English, if anything then because I don't read/watch/play translated material, so I rarely ever know the French technical terms for, say, what the TARDIS might stand for in Doctor Who, or the translation is plain ugly -- such as many names in the Final Fantasy-verses. (Just thinking about "Clad" makes me physically ill. And it has nothing to do with how much I despise Cloud.)
Considering I write awkwardly, however, most of the stuff I write won't ever see the light of any comm. That's a good thing. A very good thing. I also edit a lot more than the average fanfic writer. That's also a good thing. And it gives me a lot more practice than I'll ever get (or need) in French.

That also means that the only pieces I tend to judge as 'worth seeing' are... drabbles.
Bite-sized pieces of vanilla-flavored awkwardness.
I find that a little sad, considering I'm far too verbose for my own good. It's like denying my nature for fear that someone'll say "Bleh, you suck!" when I do suck... at drabbles. Ah, irony, how I adore thee. *eyeroll*

Mood productiveMood productive
Tags: fandom, randomness
vanilladream [userpic]

« I can see it already. In another time, another place — a crowded meeting full of dejected-looking, nameless people I couldn't care less about, standing from an unconfortable chair not unlike those we have in high school to claim something that I've feared for a long time already:

"Hi, my name is[info] - personalvanilladream and I am addicted to fiction."

I know, it's a weird thing to be addicted to, and it actually shouldn't be harmful. Not like drugs, or alcohol, or... who knows what else, really? But it is. In a completely different way, psychological rather than physiological, fiction addiction is destroying me.

And I'm loving every minute of it. »

Okay, so this is fictional. I'm don't ever plan on going to a support meeting for... fiction addiction? But the idea keeps popping up. I am a fiction — and fandom, though I think that's the worst part here — junkie. It's just not that bad a thing, and I'm kind of proud of it, if only because there's so much to imagine within the fictional realms...
... and within fandom. Because, as it stands now, imagination knows no bound to the fangirl.
Many thanks to my friends for showing me this.

Anyway. Makes no sense (no surprise there), but I had to start my journal somehow, and- and I love writing about the wacky state my mind's usually in!

Mood cynicalLocation School
Mood cynical
Music Finfal Fantasy 7: Crisis Core Soundtrack
Tags: randomness, short rants
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